Anxiety and attachment
- Fear of being abandoned or rejected
- Needing a lot of reassurance from your partner
- Becoming jealous or suspicious
- Difficulty letting someone come close
- Experiencing commitment or abandonment anxiety
Do you find it hard to trust, set boundaries, let someone come close, or stay calm during conflict? You may long for connection, yet notice that fear, distance, insecurity or arguments keep getting between you and the other person.
Relationship problems are not only about the relationship itself. Past experiences, attachment patterns, self-image, expectations and the way you communicate emotions often play an important role. With Nadia El Amrani, psychologist, we explore together which patterns repeat and how to develop healthier relationships and communication.
You may strongly desire love and closeness, while at the same time fearing being hurt, abandoned, controlled or rejected. This can create patterns of clinging, withdrawing, people-pleasing, controlling or conflict.
Relationships can offer a great deal of support, safety and connection. At the same time, it is often within relationships that old insecurities, fears and defence mechanisms resurface. This can happen in a romantic relationship, but also within family, friendships or other important contacts.
Attachment refers to the way you experience closeness, safety, dependence and trust in relationships. These patterns often develop early in life, but can also be influenced by later experiences such as rejection, betrayal, loss, mistreatment or a painful breakup.
Communication problems arise when partners or other involved people struggle to understand each other, cannot express their feelings well, or fall into recurring patterns of criticism, defensiveness, silence, blame or escalation. The surface conflict is often about something small, while underneath lie needs for recognition, safety, respect or connection.
Sometimes the most important change is not the choice to stay or leave, but a better understanding of your own patterns, needs and boundaries. This allows you to make more conscious choices and communicate more healthily.
Relationship, attachment and communication problems can show up in different ways. Sometimes you constantly seek reassurance; at other times you keep your distance to protect yourself.
The way we enter relationships, communicate and handle conflict does not arise out of nowhere. Childhood experiences, important relationships and impactful events often form the basis of how we later behave in relationships. Many patterns start as protection, but can cause problems in adulthood.
The relationship with parents or other important caregivers often forms the basis for how you later experience trust, safety and closeness. When there was rejection, unpredictability or little emotional availability, insecure attachment patterns can develop.
Bullying, mistreatment, emotional neglect, abuse, breakups or infidelity can damage trust in others. This can lead to anxiety, distrust or avoidance.
Beliefs can form such as "I am not good enough", "Everyone will eventually leave me" or "I must not make mistakes". These beliefs often unconsciously guide your behaviour.
To protect yourself you may keep your distance, constantly seek reassurance, avoid conflict, please others or quickly become angry. While this may give temporary safety, the underlying problems often remain.
When feelings, needs or boundaries are not clearly expressed, misunderstandings, frustration and recurring conflicts easily arise. Partners or others involved then drift further apart.
When the same reactions keep repeating, they constantly confirm the negative image you have of yourself or others. It can then feel as if every relationship eventually ends the same way.
Treatment does not aim to change the other person, but to understand your own patterns. By gaining more insight into your thoughts, emotions and reactions, you create space to approach relationships and conflict differently.
During the first consultation, we explore which situations keep returning, which patterns you recognize and what influence they have on your relationships, self-image and daily functioning. Based on this, we draw up a treatment plan suited to your request.
Schema therapy helps recognize deeply rooted beliefs and survival strategies that often arose early in life. You learn to understand why you always react in the same way and how to develop new, healthier patterns.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps change unhelpful thoughts and behaviour patterns. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) supports you in dealing with difficult emotions so they become less determining for your choices and relationships. When traumatic experiences play a role, EMDR can be part of the treatment.
Together we map recurring relationship, attachment and communication patterns.
We examine how past experiences have contributed to your current way of approaching relationships.
You learn to recognize limiting beliefs about yourself and others and replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts.
You develop skills to express feelings, needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully.
You practise new ways of dealing with closeness, vulnerability, conflict and trust.
The goal is that you can enter and maintain relationships with more confidence, emotional balance and healthy boundaries.
Relationship problems are often not only about the other person. They are influenced by past experiences, emotions, beliefs and patterns that have developed over your life. During treatment you gain insight into these patterns and learn new skills to build and maintain healthier relationships.
We work with proven methods such as schema therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and, when appropriate, EMDR.
Together we explore how your attachment style, beliefs, emotions and behaviour influence your relationships, so lasting change becomes possible.
Therapy is offered in French, English and Moroccan Arabic (Darija), with attention to your cultural background, norms and values.
You learn to communicate better, set healthy boundaries, regulate emotions and approach and maintain relationships with more confidence.
Amsterdam and online
FR · EN · AR · Darija
CBT · EMDR · ACT
Personal and goal-oriented
By better understanding your attachment style, communication and recurring patterns, you can learn to enter relationships with more trust, calm and connection. Together we work towards lasting change so you do not keep getting stuck in the same patterns.
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