Relationships and closeness
- Getting stuck in the same relationships repeatedly
- Fear of being abandoned or rejected
- Difficulty trusting others
- Adapting yourself strongly to others
- Keeping distance for fear of being hurt
Do you keep getting stuck in the same thoughts, feelings, relationships or reactions? You may understand rationally what is happening, yet still find it hard to respond differently.
With Nadia El Amrani, psychologist, we explore where these patterns come from and how you can gradually develop healthier ways of thinking, feeling and acting.
Personality issues do not mean there is something wrong with who you are. They are patterns that may once have served a purpose, but now limit you in relationships, work, emotions or self-image.
Every person develops certain ways of thinking, feeling and reacting over the course of life. These patterns form part of your personality and help you deal with situations, emotions and other people.
Sometimes, however, these patterns become so strong or rigid that they cause problems. You may constantly fear abandonment, find it hard to trust others, always adapt to others, avoid conflict or, conversely, quickly feel overwhelmed by anger.
We speak of personality issues when such patterns are present for a long time, repeat in different situations and lead to difficulties in relationships, work, self-image or daily functioning. Not everyone with these difficulties automatically meets the criteria for a personality disorder.
Treatment focuses on patterns that limit you or cause pain. You learn to better understand why you react the way you do and develop more freedom to make different choices.
Personality issues can manifest in different ways. The signs vary from person to person and do not all need to be present.
Personality patterns usually do not arise from a single event. They develop gradually during childhood and adolescence, influenced by temperament, upbringing, experiences and the environment in which you grew up. Patterns that once helped you cope with difficult situations can later cause problems.
The way you were raised influences how you see yourself and others. A lack of safety, predictability, attention or emotional support can lead to persistent negative beliefs about yourself and the world.
Emotional neglect, bullying, abuse, mistreatment, rejection or prolonged insecurity can profoundly influence the development of personality patterns and self-image.
Past experiences can give rise to beliefs such as "I am not good enough", "I cannot trust anyone" or "I always have to take care of others". These beliefs often unconsciously guide your behavior.
Over time, certain ways of thinking, feeling and reacting become automatic. You often only notice afterwards that you have fallen into the same pattern again.
Many patterns originally developed to protect you from pain, rejection or disappointment. Although they may once have been helpful, they can now hinder relationships, work or personal growth.
Because the same beliefs and reactions keep repeating, they continuously confirm the negative image you have of yourself or others. In this way the patterns keep themselves alive.
Personality issues often require treatment that focuses not only on symptoms, but also on the underlying patterns. Together we work toward lasting change so that you experience more freedom in how you think, feel and act.
During the first consultation we explore which patterns keep recurring, how they originated and how they influence your daily life, relationships, work and self-image. Based on this, we draw up a treatment plan together that matches your request.
Schema therapy often forms an important part of the treatment. In it we examine persistent schemas and survival strategies that developed in childhood. You learn to understand why you always react in the same way and how to change these patterns step by step.
We also use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to recognize and change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you deal differently with difficult emotions and make choices aligned with your values. When traumatic experiences play a role, EMDR can be part of the treatment.
Together we map recurring thoughts, emotions, behaviors and relationship patterns.
We examine how past experiences contributed to the development of your current patterns.
You learn to recognize negative beliefs about yourself and others and replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts.
You practice healthier ways of dealing with emotions, boundaries, relationships and difficult situations.
Step by step you learn to make conscious choices, even in situations where you automatically fall back into old habits.
The goal is that you experience more control over your life, take better care of yourself and respond more flexibly to challenges and relationships.
Personality issues are often complex and can affect several areas of your life. That is why treatment should not only focus on isolated symptoms, but also on the deeper patterns behind them.
Treatment may include schema therapy, CBT, ACT and EMDR when traumatic experiences play a role.
Treatment is tailored to your difficulties, recurring patterns, goals and what you currently need.
Therapy is available in French, English and Moroccan Arabic (Darija), with room for culture, identity and family.
You learn not only to reduce symptoms, but also to recognize persistent patterns and deal with situations differently, step by step.
Amsterdam and online
FR · EN · AR · Darija
CBT · EMDR · ACT
Personal and goal-oriented
With appropriate treatment you can learn where your patterns come from, make healthier choices and experience more calm and control in relationships, emotions and daily life.
Book a consultation